It's a dog-eat-crap World

2006-05-01T11:09:00.000Z

Why can't the girls do this?!

Well,

Samantha's too nosey and would follow everyone down the street, not holding the hat in her mouth.
Sarah wouldn't bother with something so stupid.
Boy only knows one song on the guitar.

2006-04-16T10:36:00.000Z

Funny things have been happening in the house. Panfy-dog and me's ain't been allowed in our room. Our bed has been moved and we sleep in the livin room. I don't like it. Boy has been doin some funny stuff in there, makin loud noises. I don't like loud noises, so I keep away. I'm pretty sure hims and Girl did this before.

It was a real, real nice day and even dough the Girl took us for a walk, it wasn't that bad. She took this picture of me. I wish she would stop. I had a nice time and I like it.

2006-04-07T08:41:00.000Z

I went on away, but I don't know where I went. I was very miserable. The journey there was really cramped and I hated it. Then the place I stayed in had a cold floor -- I'm a dog with a tummy with no hair! I woke up very stiff every morning, which ain't good for a dog with two false hips. I would have complained about my room, but I figured there was no point. Why they didn't have a fire in my room?

I went to another place and saw my cuzin Skouty-dog. I took his bed for a while, cuz it was cozy and warm. I don't think he minded. I also saw a man with a giant sausage. I would have gotten him, but Boy had me on the lead. It looked tasty and I like it.

It was an ok trip but I'm glad to be at home, in my own bed. What's the point of travelling if ya got a nice bed? Anyway, here's some things that happened to me on the trip.

2006-04-06T18:55:00.000Z

We have been away on holiday to Yorkshire where our Grandma, Granddad and Great-Granny live. It was very nice and we both had a good time. Girl took lots of pictures and you can see them. (Note: click the link on the side-bar)

The thing I hated most about the holiday was spending time with my cousin-dog, Scoutie-dog.

He's a real pest and keeps sniffing my bum. Everyone thinks he's so good, but he's not. He's a damn pest and I bark and growl at him when he tries to sniff my bum.

The best thing about the holiday was all the time we spent with Boy and Girl. We had really great walks and on the way back, Girl let me sit in the seat next to her. I had loads of fun. Here's a strip of my favourite moments.

2006-04-01T06:35:00.000Z

was shafted. I was bamboozled.

Boy picked me up for a carry around (as nice as it can be for him carrying a 70-lb dog). And Girl got me right in the face with that soul sapping machine. How did she convince the Boy to betray me in such a way? I can always trust him.

I was real, real pissed off afterwards and I didn't want to get the treat that she gave me. I took it anyway, but I'm still protesting this picture-takin' bullshit. You'll never get me alive!

I

2006-03-31T06:42:00.000Z

Sarah forgot to mention that while in the Meadows yesterday, I found a stick. I wrestled with the Girl for it and she threw it and I ran after it and she threw it again and I ran after it and I barked and barked. It was so much fun.

Then Sarah came in a snatched my stick away. I didn't want to play after that and I dug holes. Sarah was running like she was a puppy, even though her legs were hurting. She likes to run, silly old thing.

Luv frum Panfy-dog

2006-03-30T21:14:00.000Z

The Girl came to pick us up from work. I like to see her. Boy always plays this game with us when she comes to work. He opens the door and says, "Who's there?" And Panfy-dog runs out and always turns the wrong way and can never find the Girl. But she always hides in the same place. And I always find her.

I didn't find her today, cuz my legs hurt and I was havin' a hard time walkin. The Boy ran home with us yesterday. It's fun to run with Boy, but I always hurt the next day.

The Girl came to take us home. I like the Girl, but I like to go home with the Boy. He never watches me careful, so I can eat lots of good crap on the floor. But she never does. But I do get to go on the bus with Girl instead of walkin all the way home. I like the bus. Panfy gets on the seat, but I can't cuz of my legs. I lay down on the floor and someone takes me home. I like it.

Me on the floor of the bus. I like it.
Panfy on the seat
We're getting a cuddle from the Boy! Even though I don't like pictures, I like cuddles!

GOOD CRAP ALERT!!!!
There was some really good crap, looked like from a chip shop in the Meadows, near Summerhall. Good dogs will get there fast!

2006-03-28T17:50:00.000Z

I think Panfa-dog was talking bad about me when she writing, cuz she kep gigglin' and stuff. She better be glad I can't read.

Walks with people are funny when it rains. This is what you do: you wait until they's standing right next to you, then you shake yourself so the water come off. I do this every time and they never see it coming. It's real, real funny.

2006-03-28T17:37:00.000Z

Today's walk with Girl was very wet because it was raining. This walk is worth mentioning because we never get to walk with Girl. It's always Boy, never Girl. But today, we walked with Girl and that was nice. But the rain was not.

We met some dogs along the way. I met a particularly fearsome dog. It was smaller than me, but still very fearsome. I barked at the dog to show I was a tough dog. I think they thought I was, because they went away. I would have run to Girl if they didn't.

Sarah-dog met a dog along the way that she said hello to. I didn't. I don't like to say hello to other dogs. The twats might have something, or get too personal. You have to watch some dogs -- they get crazy when trying to sniff a bum! But Sarah doesn't care. She's a bit of a slag.

We ended up at Tesco's, but the Big Issue Guy with the dog biscuits wasn't there. Bastard. When we got home, Girl had to towel us off, which I hate. I would try to escape, but I'm a good dog. But she had to tell me to sit a lot and she said that she was going to give me a nose smacking if I didn't behave. I believe her, so I sat down. Boy never gives me a nose smacking, even when I'm very bad or when Sarah eats some really vile shit she's not supposed to. He's a big pansy. But I love him anyway.

Sarah sniffing some random dog's bum. Slapper.

2006-03-28T13:06:00.000Z

My new favourite thing to do is make high pitched noises, not so much a squeal but a high squeak. Samantha always perks her ears up, but Sarah never really bothers. I'm not sure how much it hurts the ladies' ears. If someone tells me it's really bad, I'll stop, promise.

Sarah-dog heard this and instantly her ears perked up.

Samantha didn't give a toss.

2006-03-26T20:26:00.000Z

We recently got this comment from a fellow dog, moki:

we heard our boy talking to his girl the other day, and he said he's going to shave all three of us this summer because we all have long hair and refuse to be brushed. we're currently planning for our coup. if only he didn't feed us and let us all sleep in his bed.

Poor Moki-dog. I hate being brushed too. I find that if I sit very still and let them brush me for a little bit, then I can try to escape when they have to clean the hair out of the brush. Being brushed on the tummy is nice, though. Let them do that to you. I would plan a coup, but I'm what the Girl calls a 'goody-goody'. Plus, food is nice.

You get to sleep in your Boy's bed? I used to get to sleep in my Boy's bed, but then the Girl put an end to it. How are you able to still sleep in your Boy's bed, even though he has a Girl? The Boy bought me a bed. I chew it sometimes, when they aren't looking. Here's me on my bed:

Love from Samantha-dog (Panfy)

2006-03-26T20:16:00.000Z

Auntie Dandoo is right. The hair is comin' back on my shaved belly. That ain't right. It's all rough when I lick it and feels funny. But the Girl keeps rubbin' me on it no way. I like it.

2006-03-23T23:34:00.000Z

Good thing about having a shaved belly: it's easier to lick my belly, without all that hair getting in the way.

Bad thing: I don't think I'm getting all my food. I can't count and all, I guess it doesn't matter.

2006-03-21T18:14:00.000Z

Just to bring you up to speed: The Boy took the two ladies to the vet to get their second set of shots. While there, and in passing, he mentioned Sarah's bulgy belly. The vet went all in House mode: tests and talk of Cushing's disease! They shaved her belly to check her out. All that worry and all she did was eat a lot of crap. And it's all come to £167. Cheers, you stupid dog.

Anyway, she's only allowed to eat half portions for a while, which will obviously make her want to eat more random crap on the street as she isn't getting enough food.

Condolences on Sarah's predicament would be greatly appreciated. I think she's a bit depressed about the whole 'shaved tummy' thing.

2006-03-21T07:41:00.000Z

Okay, she's gone.

I really wouldn't want a hair cut like that. I'm scared of Sarah and she's forcing me to say that. It looks like crap. And I have had that hair cut, when the Boy and Girl shaved me for the summer. They cut me a couple of times and I wanted to bite them. They're all bastards anyway.

2006-03-21T07:39:00.000Z

I think Sarah looks really cool with her new hair cut. I would want my hair cut like that.

2006-03-20T22:16:00.001Z

So I wake up and I see this has happened. What the hell?

I'm a real dog, dammit. I ain't no poodle and I ain't one of those yippy little dogs. I need hair.

2006-03-19T23:48:00.000Z

Note: We are still trying to work out the team member situation, so that each dog can post their own entries. As it is, it's stuck on the administrator's, me, the Girl. This is from Sarah. This mean that Girl has to type it, as Sarah-Dog, unlike Samantha, has never learnt to type.

The Boy and Girl have seent my tummy is gettin' big. I been farting a lot too. Boy has seent me panting a lot -- this means I need to go outside for a dump. See, I ain't pushy like Panfy-dog, scratchin' at doors and shit. I'm very subtle ( pronounced sub-til). But this has made me shit in the house a few times.

But the Girl took me for a walk and I had a big ol' poo. Fan-tastic. She had to pick it up and the bag had a hole in it. "Shit!" she yelled. She wiped her hand on the floor and on the gate beside her. She looked like she was gonna wipe that shit on me, but thought better of it.

What's wrong with me? Maybe it was some crap I ate in the park. Or on the way home. Or something I found in the flat. Or something someone gave me. I swear, I'm giving up eating random shit. Well... until the next tasty-tasty comes along.

Sarah's bulgy tummy

2006-03-19T19:05:00.000Z

The Girl set up this blog for us. It's really cool and we hope to hear from a lot of different dogs around the world. We don't have to hear just from Scottish dogs, but dogs from the US, where we used to live and dogs in other places.

We got a telling off from the Girl because we had pulled the big bag of dog food, and she made us go to our beds. So we're mad at her. At least she gave us our dinner afterwards.